I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. 83. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Stop joking! Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. I always root for the little guy. 88. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. Some people spend all their time on their phone. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. I really thought you already knew. 52. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. You were a young man when you last spoke. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. 65. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. 27. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. 81. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Thats why Im single. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. 4. How to Respond to An Insult With Humor? 41+ Best Comebacks You're the reason God created the middle finger. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. Sorry, life. But half the time, it is a nightmare. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. A real low-life. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. There is plenty of room. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. 63. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Im not single. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. Congratulations, sir. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Nowadays, potential mates need money. Spiritually? I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. What's your sign? 1. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. 42. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. 3. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Thank you Fred. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Dont wake me up yet. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. This one is bound to get a laugh. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. "See, I will finally make you smile.". I'm happy! Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. The government? Want to equip yourself with more responses? 79. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. Happy, and I know it. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? I'm alive, whoa! Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? 10. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Better inside than outside. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Now that is pretty f****** funny. 8 Funny Replies To "Hahaha" Text Better Responses Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. Everyone has a different sense of humor. 70. How did you get here? Are you alive? - Random Answers - Fanpop Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Finnish with this conversation! Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Im single by choice. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. I dont know. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 2. Are you serious? There are nosy people everywhere! . Are those space pants? Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? response, because I need clarity in my interactions. No, waitIm actually plural. Try a Humorous Reply when Someone Asks "How Are You?" - All Women's Talk I was doing great, before you came. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Maybe you can Google it. Financially? I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. 11. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. 5. 2. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. 37. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. It lets him know that you love spending time together. The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer It could be raining men, and Id still be single. I like being single. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. 39. 35 Best Replies To "I Miss You" (Cute & Friendly) - Grammarhow The police? Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! 5. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. For more information, please see our Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. . Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? I never even listen when you tell me them. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. My grandfather had a ton of these. Another way to say Still Alive? I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. and our You dont need to say it. I'm overqualified! So, you changed your mind? Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. I'm afraid I can't do that. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. Not Bad. This does not seem right. via: Pexels / George Pak. I suggest you do a little soul searching. 35. Required fields are marked *. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. 15. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. How are you? How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily Holy s**t, you can see me?! *wink*. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. At minding my own business? Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." I learned my lesson. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. 84. You don't need to say it. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. 1. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes 66. 20 Hilarious Things Actually Said in Court Best Life Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. Its too small to be out there all alone. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. | Are you surviving? The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. "Any day above ground is a good day. It can be good to just say it how it is. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. However, I dont recall anything about morons. I favour the "How am I what?" You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Because if you are, youre doing it right.
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